Tuesday, February 23, 2010

What’s Really Important?


I mean really… What's really important??

As I prepare to engage my full life and full schedule again. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Now that I have less free time, (not that I was ever super productive when I did have free time), what is really important to me and what I want to do?

Then… I saw this mini documentary in TLC last week. It was following one of the former winners of NBC's "The Biggest Loser" this gentleman was one of the people that lost the most amount of weight on the show. They were doing a "where is he now?" kind of follow up. This hit home for me… first because I auditioned for this show when I started dancing, and didn't make it… and second because he had regained ¾ of the weight back once the cameras were turned off. His reasoning was that once all the attention was off of him, he felt a little abandoned and stopped caring as much. Also, that while what he did on the show was amazing… that it didn't really teach him how to live daily life.
I can identify with him…

In my days of unemployment, I could have really chosen to kick up the workouts and kept up with the weight loss, let's face it… the last year and a half or so, I slid… I myself at one point had put back on 40 pounds of what I had lost…then dropped 20, then put back on 10… I think… I didn't pay that close attention… my family did though… every so often I'd get comments "Well you know you've put a lot of weight back on." Or whatever… That made me angry… but I was too busy being depressed. I couldn't see my way back to the path of good, healthy living. Could the reasons behind it be because I didn't have all that attention I was receiving from anyone and everyone in my dancing life to propel me forward? Was it possible that I was relying too much on outside influences to keep me on the path of a healthy life? ABSOLUTELY!

One BIG thing that has had me thinking in the days since I saw all of this on TV… is what does it come down to? It comes down to me… do I have the inner strength to reach my goals? Can I be humble enough to ask for help when I need it?

Well… my mind finally whittled all of that down into one simple question… What is really important? The other catalyst in all of this is that at my new job, where I'm meeting all these new people, who don't know me, my past, what I write, they vaguely know that I even dance. They have made comments about me being unique, and unusual, and things you don't normally hear from co-workers that hardly know me or my work ethic. THEY have noticed in two short weeks, some of the things I pride myself on… reminded me that I am the person I set out to be every day.

So now that I am working on building my life back up to what it should be, what it was two years ago, only better… I am continually asking myself "What is really important, no, REALLY important?… Am I willing to work to get and keep what is really important?"

The answer to the first is that it is REALLY important that I be proud of myself and my performance in everything I do. Whether I'm setting out to train a new client on software, write a blog post, dance a rumba, commit to my 10,000 dance steps a day program, go out with the dance gang after a party. I must enter and exit each one of those situations being proud of myself, and being proud of the way I handle whatever situations come up.
Ok...so now you ask what does it take for me to be proud of myself? Because, I did NOT come away from my unemployment experience being full of pride with the way I handled it. In fact… if I were to grade myself on it… I'd give myself a "D." So, for me to be proud of myself now… I have to put in the effort; I have to be honest with everybody, including myself. (That last bit is going to be tough… I'm exceptionally good at pulling the wool over my own eyes) Yeah, it can be said as easily as that… however to actually do it… now that's going to be the challenge.

I am still on the same mission I set out when I started this blog, well before I started this blog actually… I will be on it for the rest of my life, and right now… it's time that I start participating in my adventure as much as I THINK about participating in my own adventure. I am a very passionate person, and I've somehow limited myself to only expressing that passion in certain areas of my life… well that's gotta change.

So to answer the second part of the question... YES I am absolutely ready to put the work in and make this life everything I want it to be. I had it at one point in the not so distant past, it's time I regain it.. and keep it... for good. :-)



 



10,000 Dance Steps a Day Update:
For those of you on the 10,000 Dance Steps a Day program with me, I'm averaging 5,000 steps a day right now with some effort… I'm still working out my new schedule and waiting for my paychecks to start up so I can do things like put enough gas in my car to get to the dance studio, and gym again. This is not a setback, it's a mere rescheduling. Not everything can go exactly as planned… and I'm not giving up… so don't you do it either.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Up, Running, and Beginning Anew…


 

Hi everyone and thank you for your patience. I had to disappear for a bit to get used to my new work schedule. After 11 months of unemployment, getting used to waking up to an alarm and going to bed at a decent time is tough! I am VERY pleased to announce that I LOVE the company I work for, and my job, while it will require some things I've never done before (like carry a BlackBerry and work from home) it is just about everything I want in a day job. YAY!

Things I miss about having a job aren't the same things most people miss I don't think, well maybe… I didn't realize that I missed them until I got them back, like having a schedule, the EASE of planning meals and finding small ways to get some extra steps in. My office is on the 4th floor, and while I won't be taking the stairs in the AM or in the PM (because I'll be carrying a laptop and various other work day necessities) I HAVE been taking the stairs to get to the vending machine, (which stocks V8!) and to run to the mailbox..That sort of thing. My legs currently hate me for it, but they'll learn.

Now that I feel ok being back in the swing of being busy and having more of a purpose to my daily life. I would like to start my 90 days of stepping anew… They say you don't get "do over's" in life… and for the most part they're right… but in this case we can make an exception.

Day 1 again Friday February 19th.

It's my life… I can do what I want J

10,000 steps tomorrow or bust!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

I've Been Cleared for Landing!

Alright! Now we're talking!


The very day I wrote about feeling like I was in a holding pattern waiting for clearance from the tower my life was put into fast forward...

I received my hiring contract with all the bells and whistles that come with this job... I start on MONDAY! YAY!

I put a fast forward on getting my car fixed by having that done on Friday, and it cost $100 less than the estimate I was quoted! YES...less to pay back to my wonderful benefactors!

Friday night I put my ankle to the test and attended the dance party at the studio, and while I didn't feel any pain, the dance shoe attached to my wounded ankle did get progressively tighter as the evening wore on... so still not totally healed yet, but no pain was a good sign. So I'm going to pick up the 10,000 dance steps on Monday...


Now I'm preparing to have a life again... I know it's going to be slow going for a few weeks, until some paychecks start rolling in and I get used to waking up to an alarm again.... but I can't wait!


I also decided that...while I thought I had a good thing going with The Beau... you know what? It wasn't meant to be and that's why I was never upset about his ending the relationship... I have officially jumped back into the dating world, and came back out with no scars to show.. so I'll be joining the dating scene again as soon as I've got my new work and dance schedule figured out! I'm really excited about this too!


They say that 2010 is the year of the Tiger on the Chinese calendar... I disagree... this is the YEAR OF THE KAT!

Sure... I got slowed up for a bit... but that's nothing... just wait...



Away we go!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

In a Holding Pattern, Waiting for Clearance from the Tower...

Hi... well... lots of development this past week... once again steering me away from the dance floor.... but that's ok for the moment... but only for the moment...



I feel like an airplane set in a holding pattern, waiting for clearance from the tower to come in for a landing...



1- Ankle is getting better, more slowly than previously thought... So I'm waiting on that.

2- Limited Finances being what they are, I am pretty much homebound until I can muster up the money to put gas in my car AND go out.

3- Still haven't received the hiring contract for my new position.... I've been assured that it's just waiting for one more signature and then I'll have it... this is the biggest thing that makes me feel like this is a holding pattern.

4- The Beau decided to break up with me, then take me to dinner... which I'm still not upset about, hey... if he wanted to end it for the lame reasons he ended it... he's not who I thought he was... as soon as I get my finances in order...I'm back out in the dating pool again.

5- My car battery decided to die on me twice... so I took it in... and turns out I need about $600 in repairs to make it a reliable car again.... so now I'm facing $600 in debt... the appt to have it fixed is next week... until then... fingers crossed... I can start it every time I go to run an errand.



All of this, you'd think would have me totally down... but I'm not... it's just put me into this holding pattern... because as soon as I get everything straight...I'm going to pick up where I left off and not look back.



So I ask the tower... "Tower this is flight Kilo Alpha Tango Two Zero One Zero requesting permission to land and get on with things... is the runway clear yet... over?"